Foggy Mountain Memories

Carrie and I just returned from a 3 night getaway to Gatlinburg TN. We rented a cabin in the mountains and just chilled out with some friends for the weekend. With all that has been happening the past few weeks, I really needed a break. With the loss of the cabinet shop, the auction and wrecking my truck, I needed something to break the cycle I seemed to be in.

As I sit listing to, "Foggy Mountain Breakdown," I am reminded of the past few days and how it helped me take my mind off of what seemed to be a bumpy road. My friend Ken Kenslow bought me the CD after I refused to buy it for myself, it is the perfect reminder of what made the weekend so great. No worries, no phones, no computer, just good friends and a few quite days in the mountains. It's also perfect because it's much different than anything else I have in my CD collection. It puts an exclamation point on the decisions I've made since Thursday morning. Decisions that will take me in a new direction, different from anything I've ever done but still combines my skills and passions. Like this new CD, I have decided to play a new new tune.

Ken and Angel Kenslow are wonderful friends we met a few years ago as a result of our travel agency business. Ken and Angel were married a year ago in the Smokey Mountains, actually right up the road from where we stayed this past weekend. They moved to Raleigh and we have missed them terribly. Though we have many mutual friends here in BG, we didn't spend much time talking "shop," we simply enjoyed each others company.

It was too fun! With a hot tub and pool table as well as a huge deck, we sat and talked, laughed and looked out upon the Great Smokey Mountains. Nothing to interfere, just good friends and good times. I really needed this weekend.

Carrie bought me a book to read while we were there and it too was exactly what I needed. It helped me change my focus and offered a unique insight to self improvement that has solidified a new direction I am talking for my business and my life.

I've always been a positive thinker. I've always tried to focus on the good and discard the bad; I've intentionally remained unjudgmental of others; I've tried to see the good and while not ignoring the bad, avoided dwelling on it. My efforts to remain positive had become handicapped by the disappointments and failed efforts this year. My heart had become a little darker, my mood more cynical, my mind more negative and I found myself "blaming" others for it... I am not proud of it but I am happy to have discovered it.

If you've read my writing in the past, you know that I am a "reasonable optimist." I trust people (too much according to some) and when that trust is broken and/or challenged, I become disappointed and it inspires more distrust, more doubt, and more anger. In just a few weeks I found that I was actually attracting more "badness" to myself through these feelings.

The book Carrie purchased for me is a little extreme, a book that I would never had read just a few years ago because it is what I consider a 'progressive theology' book, at least as it relates to spirituality. I've experienced a few shifts in my own thinking for the past 4 years that allows me to open my mind to new ideas, and frankly I'm happy that I have.

The book offers some ideas that many (?most?) people will have a hard time understanding and even a harder time accepting. It offers some concepts that are so far away from the norm that I would imagine there are some people who reject it so passionately that they would disclaim it. I'm not suggesting that I agree with or embrace all of what the book suggest, but I did find many useful thoughts and ideas.

<edit>I removed a number of paragraphs relating to the book as well as my personal beliefs. In that my beliefs are important to me, they are personal so I have removed them. If you are interested in the full text including the title of the book, please send me an email and let me know.</edit>

I've been hard on myself as far as my own beliefs go but have learned to accept the fact that others believe differently than I. My beliefs have always been my own, unique from anyone else and I've been very deliberate in my efforts to not expect anyone to believe exactly as I do. In other words, I have to learned to accept that all people believe differently and the only person I should hold to my belief system is my own and no one else.

As I come away from a great weekend with friends, I feel as though I have a new insight for the days to come.

As I consider the weeks that preceded this past weekend, I can see that there are changes that must be made.

As I consider the failures of the past few months, I can see that a new path is necessary.

As I consider my path, I have come to understand that I must choose one that is best for me; one that will help me provide for my family; one that will allow me to enjoy what I am doing; one that prevents reliance on others; in short, a path that makes me happy.

I have made some ground shaking decisions and my feet are now on a path that will allow me to express my creativity, as well as use the skills and talents I have been blessed with. This new direction is the culmination of years of experience as well as a deep passion to contribute to my community. I am excited and I am happy... even for the disappointments that have led to these decisions, without them, perhaps I would have never found the road.

After have a few short days of rest, I am ready to get back into the flow of life. I feel rested, refreshed and renewed to the point I am looking forward to the journey once again. Though the next few weeks and months are going to be exceptionally busy and I know that I must face many more challenged, my heart is filled with hope and promise that the work I invest will result in a more balanced life, a more joyful existence and I will be doing something that will help me reach my primary aim.

All said however, this new step is only the beginning! I have some grand goals that will be reached one at a time. This new one is only the first step on the path which I have chosen.